The Secret

Anyone who has lost weight, even a modest amount of weight, will probably tell you that there are a number of questions they get on a regular basis. Questions like the obvious "Have you lost weight?", followed by "How much weight have you lost?". If you've been at this a while, you may also get "How much more weight do you want to lose?". There are also the unexpected, less frequent questions, like: "Are you sick?" Seriously, depending on my mood, I am sometimes tempted to answer that one with "Yes. I'm dying. Would you like to know how much time I have left?" just to watch the reaction. I mean really... what kind of question is that? What if I was sick? Doesn't that just create a really awkward, uncomfortable moment for both of us? But the question everyone will ask at some point or another is "What's the secret?"

I'm going to make a sweeping generalization here but most people are really disappointed in the answer. Because the secret is... wait for it... there is no secret. You know how it's pretty much drilled into us that you need to eat right and exercise? Well, as it turns out, you need to eat right and exercise. And by right, I mean healthy, nutritious foods, in reasonable quantities. In my case, I ate good, mostly whole foods, restricted quantities, and exercised a lot.

This. Is. Not. What. People. Want. To. Hear.

I think people are looking for some simple, painless, easy change they can make that will allow them to pretty much continue doing what they're doing (or not doing), and voila, presto-change-oh, transformation! Something like: I stopped eating blue food. Done! Blueberries were never may favorite berry anyway. Or: I eat a celery stalk before every meal and the fibre from the celery traps my meal and carries it right out of my system. Gross! But OK. Let's order a pizza. Extra cheese?

I talk about hiring a personal trainer and a nutritionist, and how it really is not as expensive as one might think, and I share contact information but so far, neither member of my Dream Team has thanked me for a referral. Now, I share this, not as a judgement, but as an observation. Heck, I've been that person, asking for the inside scoop and being disappointed that it's not double chocolate fudge ice cream. Mmmm ice cream. I haven't had ice cream in... oh... I don't know. I'm not sure exactly. But you could probably grow a human and have weeks left over. Anyhoo...

This week, I had a different experience with someone wanting to know the secret. And it was ...hmmm... trying to think of the best word to describe it. Offensive?

Early one morning, I was walking through a corridor at my workplace and was stopped by a woman I know by sight (because I pass through her work area) but not by name. It was very early and no one else was in yet. And instead of stopping at the usual "Good morning" "Good morning" exchange, she reached a hand out to stop me and said "You look fantastic!" I know. What a bitch, right? Ha, kidding! I know, I know... What's so offensive about that? Nothing.

Then she leaned in and said "So..." then looked around and kind of gave me a sly look and said "What did you do?" Translation: What's the secret?

"Diet & exercise." I replied.

She gave me a smirk, leaned in closer and said "Come on. What did you do?"

"Really. That's it. I'm very disciplined with my eating. I eat mostly whole foods, and I don't eat a lot. And I exercise. A lot."

She shook her head, smiled patronizingly and said "Come on..."

Now, I was starting to get annoyed.

"Really. I run 4-5 days a week. I'm on my bike 3 days a week. I swim a few times a week. I work out with weights 3-4 days a week. I go to yoga once a week. I exercise a lot."

She rolled her eyes and said "Where would you find the time? What do you do, get up at 4:00 in the morning?"

Great sarcastic question! Because... "Actually YES. Some days I do. Fridays for example. I get up at 4 a.m. and do a 6 km run and then a weight workout with my personal trainer before coming in to work."

That shut down that line of questioning and then she moved on to wanting to know The Number in terms of how much I'd lost. But I'm pretty sure she still doesn't believe me. I'm not sure what would have satisfied her. I figure she thinks I either had gastric bypass surgery, or took hcg, or drank the blood of fluffy kittens before sacrificing their lifeless bodies to a demon god or something. Yeah, that sounds more like a secret!

People are strange beings. I know. That's no secret either! I'm still trying to think of a good response to such an offensive line of questioning again. And I know I shouldn't really give two hoots but there's a part of me that wonders, if there's one individual bold enough to hint that there's something "more" going on when it comes to my weight loss, how many others are thinking the same thing?