Ultra. Take 2.

In the last decade, since reinventing myself as a kind-of-athlete, I have undertaken some big challenges. That first half marathon. That first marathon. A half Ironman. Ironman. And oh that swim. The first time is always the hardest. A jumble of nerves, self doubt, and a little fear. After that, there is a little deposit in the memory bank that reminds you: you can do this. You’ve done it before. Oh don’t get me wrong, there are still nerves & self-doubt - my familiar pre-race house guests - but the second time is easier. Except sometimes, it turns out, it isn’t.

My first race of 2018 was in February when I set out to tackle my first 50K. I made it not quite halfway when I was pulled, having missed an aid station cut-off by 4 minutes. I was devastated. I felt shame. This foolish undertaking of a 50K by someone like me. I cried. A lot.

Scenes from a training run on-course at Deception Pass

This weekend is my last race of 2018 and as you might have figured out by now, it’s my second attempt at a 50K. And this time doesn’t feel easier than the first time. I’m peeking in that memory bank and all I see is evidence that this is beyond me. Beyond my fitness. Beyond my capabilities. Beyond my crunchy, beleaguered knees. Another foolish undertaking. I am trying to work on my mental game but man, I am having to dig deep.

Speaking of that swim… if you’re wondering how it went. I got my money’s worth. With less than 40 seconds left to spare on the official cut-off and an extra km swum - because, why not - I finished it. Here’s the post-race ugly cry as I hug my paddler and super hero friend Shelly, who guided me down the lake and listened to me whine about how hard it was. It always seems impossible until it’s done. 

Note to self.

Hold my beer...

So, tomorrow I’m doing this thing. It seems kind of crazy, even to me, and especially FOR me because well… who signs up for an ultra swim when they’re not a swimmer? Well, me, it seems. Chalk it up to a chain-reaction of crazy ideas beginning with my 2019 Ultra520K application, followed by a little post-Hyack hot-tub encouragement peer-pressure from super swimmer Ann. And hey, it was so far away, surely I could become a better swimmer by then, right? 

Well, then is now, and despite spending hours and hours of time in the pool and the lake, and Sunday after Sunday (after Sunday) of early morning swim coaching, I’m no faster than I was before. Le sigh.

Speed matters because here because this race has a cut-off. If I swim straight enough, and conditions are favourable, I should be OK. Should be.

Ten years ago, I embarked on a journey to transform my body, my health, and my life. In those early years, when I was well at the back of the pack of running races and triathlons, I feared being last. And in those early years, I came close a few times. Very, very close. Like… I think I was 3rd from last once at an AIK race but although spectators warn us with signs that race results last forever, I can’t find it to confirm!  Over the years, I’ve worked my way up to the middle of the pack, and every once in a while, I’m closer to the front than the middle. It’s been a long time since I feared being the last athlete across the line.  Well, tomorrow, I expect to be the last athlete across the line. And that’s 100% OK with me. It will mean this non-swimmer who can’t seem to work her way out of the slow lane will have made all the cut-offs and hauled herself through the water over 11.8 km. Crazy, right?

No matter the outcome, I want some people to know how much I appreciate them when it comes to tomorrow’s crazy. Shelly, who took kayaking lessons to prepare for this and will paddle all day and manage my snacks… Andrew, who may tell me I’m crazy when I get these ideas, but supports me all the way anyway… my Coach Liz, who has never said a single negative thing about my swimming (and chastises me when I do) despite the fact that I am sure she must look at some of my swim workouts and wonder how the hell someone can go so.damn.slow …she always makes me feel like she believes in my ability to be successful, even when sometimes I’m not so sure myself… and my swim coach Ryan, who has yet to declare me hopeless. 

At my last session with Ryan coaching, he kayaked alongside me and shouted (he’s good at the shouting):

“Karin! Karin!! You can swim all day…” (I mmm-hmm’d my agreement) “…you need to swim faster.”

I’ll try Ryan, I’ll try.

See you at the finish line.

And then this happened...

Liquid courage is a thing. (Just go to any karaoke bar.) And liquid courage following on the heels of some exercise endorphins is a potent, perhaps dangerous thing. Before I tell you why, let me take you back in time.

It was the August long weekend in 2014. Do you remember what you did that weekend? I do. I was training for Challenge Penticton. It would be my first iron distance race and I was on a training weekend with some of my best girl friends. It was my first time riding the bike course in its entirety. And it was also Ultraman Canada race weekend. 

For those who are wondering what Ultraman Canada is, it's a 3-day multisport stage race:

• Day 1: 10 km swim + 150 km bike
• Day 2: 275 km bike
• Day 3: 84.4 km run 

On Day 1 of the 2014 race, we would be sharing a part of the Ultraman bike course with athletes while we were on our training ride, though I don’t think we realized that when we set out. I remember stopping in Oliver for water and the clerk at the store asking if I was doing the race… “ha ha no… but thanks for thinking I could be!” 

Later, when the Ultraman course branched off from the Challenge/old Ironman Canada course, one of the volunteers was signaling to me to turn on to the Ultraman course. Again, I remember feeling flattered that someone thought I could actually be competing in that race.

That weekend got my Ultraman curiosity piqued. I spent a bit of time perusing the race website and discovered that to race Ultraman, you had to race a qualifying iron distance time, and then apply for entry to a small field of athletes. A qualifying iron distance time is 14:30 or better. Heading into my first iron distance race, I was worrying over making that 17 hour cut-off. The idea of getting under 14:30 was laughable. Well, no need to spend any more cycles thinking about Ultraman anymore! That’s a level of racing well beyond me!

And then a few weeks later, I raced my first iron distance event. And finished in 14:15.

Challenge Penticton Finish Line. 3 years ago today.

Suddenly, the idea of racing Ultraman “one day” wheedled its way back into my brain. So then what happened?

Well I was in no rush - I thought I’d work on getting faster, buy a tri-bike, save some money (this race isn’t cheap!) but it was on my list of things I wanted to do “one day”. Firmly on my Bucket List. In the years that followed, Ultraman became Ultra520K Canada and then last year, they announced that 2018 would be the last year for the event. The qualifying ironman needed to be in the previous calendar year and mine wasn’t.  So I took the Ultra520K Canada logo (paired with my believe/fierce ambigram), off of my vision board and thought “well, it was a long shot anyway”.

So then what happened?

Fast forward to this year. The August long weekend. Ultra520K Canada race weekend. During the race, the organizers posted to social media that they had decided they would do a 2019 event, and that they’d “relax” the qualifying standard, and that those interested should get their application in ASAP. Now, this might have gone unnoticed except a friend tagged me on the post... Shelly, I'm looking at you.

I posted on their Facebook…

So then what happened? 

I went for a swim. Then a run. Then a ride. Had a few post-ride drinks with the hub and one of my best bitches (who did nothing to discourage me... Diane, I'm looking at you). The next thing I knew, I was at home, filling out an application form and hitting submit.

I’m not gonna lie, the next day, I was freaking out… What have I done?! But, I’d thought with the Ultra520K Canada window opening, it really was now or never, and that I shouldn’t let the opportunity pass. As I waited for the official word on my application, I wondered if I’d be relieved or disappointed if they declined my application. As it turned out, the official word was that those who had expressed interest race weekend, should officially submit (or in my case, resubmit) their application. An opportunity for a sober second thought! So what did I do? Of course I applied. Bucket List, remember?

And then this happened:

O.M.G!!

I'm not kidding. Let that sink in. If you're going to call my crazy, get in line. I've already heard it a couple of times today! 

Today, the race organizers issued a press release that the race will continue for the foreseeable future and I briefly wondered whether I should have waited but then... waited for what? I'm not getting any younger. In 2019, when I toe that start line, I'll be 49 years old. What a fabulous & fitting start to the last year of my 40s given that I started them by running my first marathon, 11 days after my 40th birthday, not even halfway through my weight loss journey. Can I do this? In the words of the inspirational Chad Bentley: You will only know if you try. So I'm going to try.

Left: summer 2006. Right: summer 2017

The woman on the right tackles challenges that the woman on the left never would have contemplated for herself... not in her wildest dreams. Applying for Ultra520K represents more of that dreaming big, leap of faith, embrace the journey thinking that has been so transformative over the last decade - transformative in so many ways, all positive! 

Huge thanks to friend and phenomenal athlete Ann Barnes for reaching out and being such a voice of encouragement and support these last few weeks. She has me believing! 

I'm not exactly sure what the next 2 years of preparation are going to look like (and by not exactly, I mean I have no clue) but I do know that they begin with a cork popping tonight.

Ironman Canada - 23 weeks out

	IMC: 23 weeks to go (Feb 16-22)	Challenge: 23 weeks to go (Mar 10-16)
Total training hours	9:12	15:21
Swim	3:05 / 6400m	2:55 / 5900m
Bike	1:05 (spin class)	7:45 (trainer + 60.5 km outside)
Run	3:02 / 28.9 km	2:21 / 25.2 km
Strength training		1:20
Yoga	2:00	1:00
SBR Total	7:12	13:01

So this week marked the first week of the taper. Two rest days on the schedule and you know what I did? I spun that into 3. Yes, I did so. Tuesday was track day and despite the fact that I loathe loooove track sessions, I skipped it. Did I need the extra day of rest or just want the extra day? We’ll never know. But I didn’t want to run at the track. And I didn’t want to do an easy run in the ‘hood either, despite the fact that it was a beautiful day. So I didn’t. The next day, feeling well rested and schmucky, I e-mailed Coach to ask if I could make up the track session. We had a little chat but the bottom line was no. Later he shared this photo on Facebook. Yup, I get it.

Wednesday night was Spin and if I’d had any lingering regrets about bailing on the track session, they quickly evaporated when Michelle treated us to a MAP workout. Yeah, had to stop drinking my water during the recovery spins because I was worried I was going to throw up on the hard efforts. Good times.

On my Friday morning swim, I had the good fortune to enjoy a lane to myself for the duration of my swim. Happy day. I focused on finishing my stroke, which I’d gotten chatter about from a couple of directions on the previous week’s Club swim. I think I did a good job of following through because by the end of the work day, my arms ached so badly, I could barely lift them. Swimming properly is hard work! And no, I wasn’t any faster as a result. Saturday morning’s Club swim was a bunch of hard effort stuff – and instructions to finish my stroke. Frack. My arms. My arms.

The complete and total absence of strength work… that’s a problem. I really need to set some intention there – but after I get back from Napa because jumping back into strength work is just not worth the injury risk so close to race day… maybe a little core work this week, but that’s it.

Comparing the two weeks, I got excited initially thinking I must be getting faster with my swim if 10 minutes of extra swim time translated to 500 extra metres in the pool… and then I got to the run line. [sigh]

This is how taper week one went:

Monday	Not a damn thing.
Tuesday	Yup, still nothing.
Wednesday	2300m swim before work PRM Spin Class
Thursday	Hatha Flow Yoga Class
Friday	2200m swim before work 8.5 km run after work
Saturday	1900m PRM swim 8.4 km run Hatha Flow Yoga Class
Sunday	12 km run

Ironman Canada - 24 weeks out

	IMC: 24 weeks to go (Feb 9-15)	Challenge: 24 weeks to go (Mar 3-9)
Total training hours	12:31	15:28
Swim	3:06 / 6350m	2:49 / 5650m
Bike	1:00 (15.4 km on the trainer)	4:33 (trainer + spin class + 24.9 km outside)
Run	6:25 / 61 km	4:20 / 54.59 km
Strength training		1:45
Yoga	2:00	2:00
SBR Total	10:31	11:43

Since Monday was Family Day, I put in a request that it NOT be a rest day. Who wants to spend an extra weekend day laying around doing nothing? Yeah… not me! Coach made a comment about risk vs rest given the heavy previous week, and the particularly full previous day (Run. Bike. Run. Yoga.) but compromised with an easy swim and a light yoga class. CCAC was doing a ladies-only swim in the morning so I went thinking it would be less crowded. Half the genders, half the swimmers? Yeah, no. It started off weird seeing that they had hung curtains over the lobby windows so men couldn’t even see in to the pool… OK… and wow, once in the pool… a whole lot of diversity going on. I’ve never swum with people fully clothed in pants and long-sleeved shirts. Uh huh. Weird.

I came home, tired, and fighting a killer carb craving. The previous day, I’d been about 1500 calories under what I should have been taking in for my activity level which might have played in to what happened next… After 7 weeks or so of saintly eating, I succumbed to that killer carb craving and ate my body weight in tortilla chips and fresh salsa. Then promptly fell asleep on the couch. Who wants to spend an extra weekend day laying around doing nothing? Me, apparently.

Tuesday I had a great swim – I had 16 x 100 to do for my main set and decided to target 2:30.  I managed that for almost half, then slowed to 2:35 for a bit, a couple of 2:40, then I don’t even know – I was tired and the math got hard! The swim-high was tempered by a ridiculously boring zone 1 (zone 1!) 1 hour spin on the bike. To add insult to injury, I was watching what may be the most boring episode of the Breaking Bad series (let’s hope) where the entire hour was about killing a fly.

Wednesday I reluctantly dragged my ass to the track. Oh, how I hate track-work. It’s just so… hard. I had 6 x 600m hard assigned and I ran them at a faster clip than I was running the week before, running the first one at a 4:17/km pace. Yeah, I was pretty happy with that. However true to form, I ran the rest slower and inconsistent (4:23, 4:31, 4:27, 4:33, 4:35). BUT… I did them. Which [spoiler alert] is more than I will be able to say when I post the next week’s training!

Sunday was my last long run before Napa and far, far shorter than I usually take my long run to pre-marathon. For my previous 4 open marathons, my long run has peaked at 35-37 km. This week I peaked at 26 km. My overall mileage this time is much higher. In the 5 weeks up to and including Sunday, I’ve run 296 km. For my first marathon (Seattle Rock’n’Roll), my 5-week pre-taper mileage was just 117 km! For my last marathon (Whidbey Island), it was 216. I’m a little uneasy about having such a short long run but I trust my coach. In order to manage the inner gremlins, I’ve been doing some reading about accumulated fatigue in endurance training, as well as the notion that there’s not much fitness to be gained on the really long runs, and that the impacts to recovery and subsequent workouts hinder improvements in running performance.  I know I will need to keep returning to these sources over the week leading up to my race so that when I’m tiring on race day after that 26 km mark, I can counter those gremlins that may whisper I’m not prepared to run longer.

This is how the week played out:

Monday	1900m swim Hatha Yoga Class
Tuesday	2600m swim before work 1 hr zone 1 spin on the trainer after work
Wednesday	10 km run – speed work at the track after work
Thursday	SFA – and for once I was grateful for it!
Friday	8.4 km run at lunch
Saturday	1850m PRM swim 11.6 km run
Sunday	26 km run in the morning 5 km recovery shuffle late afternoon Gentle Hatha Yoga Class post-run

Ironman Canada - 25 weeks out

	IMC: 25 weeks to go (Feb 2-Feb 8)	Challenge: 25 weeks to go (Feb 24-Mar 2)
Total training hours	14:18	12:02
Swim	2:32 / 5550m	4:42 / 9500m
Bike	3:21 (spin class + 16.8 km on the trainer + 30.3 km outside!)	1:45 (trainer time + spin class)
Run	7:05 / 67.7 km	3:34 / 33.2 km
Strength training	0:20	1:00
Yoga	1:00	1:00
SBR Total	12:58	10:02

So I continued to run my ass off… figuratively… not literally. Not that my ass needs shrinking but there are other parts that do and none of this training and saintly eating is doing a damn thing… Oh, oh… we’re heading back to Crazytown!

Monday was another of those frustrating “nothing-at-all” rest days. Look how they show up in my plan, with a smiley-face as if that’s supposed to make it fine. It’s not that I was opposed to getting a day off from SBR, the day before on my long run I’d been thinking I could use one, but I could really have used a yoga class…anyhoo, bygones.

Some thoughts on the week:

• Tuesday was an uneventful swim before work, then a trip to the track for some speed work after work. I hate speed work.  More specifically, I hate track sessions. Tempo runs taunt me from the training plan all week leading up to them but I can usually tackle them and feel successful.  Track work, not so much. I think I’m not built for speed. I certainly don’t know how to suffer well. Tuesday’s session called for 6 x 800m hard and I went out hoping to be fast and consistent with each effort. The only consistency was in running each one slower: my 800s were run in 3:43, 3:49, 3:53, 3:54, 3:58, and 3:57. Gah!  Driving home from the track, I tried to calculate how many more times I’ll get sent to the track this year… I’m guessing twice more before Napa…then maybe nothing until after tri-season. Too good to be true? Probably.
• Wednesday morning, I started the day with an early morning zone 1 shuffle. I love running first thing in the morning. I love it more when it’s summer and it’s light out but I get very few summer early morning runs on the plan – that’s swim time. Wednesday, I was out the door before 5, head lamp flashing around my waist, reflective clothing on and… can you guess at which point in my run a douchebag in a red mini-van nearly ran me over on a cross-walk?
  
  To the people living by PME that I may have woken with a blood-curdling scream at 5 am… Sorry-not-sorry. I am starting to feel like there is an inverse relationship between the efforts one goes to in order to be visible, and the likelihood that one will have a close call… And crosswalks. Really. Motorists don’t care. Today, I had someone honk angrily at me just as I left the cross-walk to get back on the sidewalk. I can only assume that she was angry she had to wait while I exercised my right of way… and that I wasn’t RUNNING fast enough for her. Sheesh. McDonalds getting cold on the seat there lady?
• Saturday morning I had my biggest swim since Challenge. Tough workout. But a good workout. And nice to get a big swim in and reassure myself that I can. I wasn’t even that disappointed in my time (1:22 for 3050m). One thing about that morning though: about a dozen Cross-fitters showed up at the pool, most with complimentary passes (they were ahead of me in line). When they hit the pool deck, they got in the shallow end, then got out, milled around a bit, and then went and spoke to one of the lifeguards. Said lifeguard then proceeded to shrink one of the existing lanes to open up a lane just for these guys. But wait, it gets better. Lengths swimming is a challenge …most pools have only a few windows where you get any real pool real estate for swimming lengths, it’s usually at noon or first thing in the morning. The rest of the time, you get a wee bit’o’space and the rest of the “swimming” pool is for people who want to play in the water. So when these guys showed up at 7 am on Saturday, when ALL of the competition pool is reserved for lengths swimming, and then were gifted a lane, well… because they weren’t swimming lengths. No, they all lined up on the side and then jumped in, climbed out, jumped in, climbed out, jumped in, climbed out. You get the idea. I tried to stay zen about the resulting water turbulence by telling myself it was good practice for open water on race day. They occasionally did lengths but it was clear they were here for a bit of cross-fit cross-training that included the in & outs, and a considerable amount of time spent as a group treading water. And while I’m glad I didn’t have to share a swim lane with these folks, I’ve got to say, I just don’t think this was OK. I might feel differently if they got their very own lane for swimming but that’s not what happened. And even then, if I showed up with a bunch of my tri friends during lengths swimming and asked if they could shrink a lane to give my little gang exclusive use of a lane… well, come on, we know that would never happen. So… shame on you Maple Ridge Leisure Centre. And will I rant every week about a local pool? God I hope not.
• Fast forward to today… yes, fast forward a whole day… and what a day it was! Sunny, dry and so warm for winter. I snapped this pic before heading out for my run this morning, it was about 7:30 and 10 degrees.
  
  I had a fabulous run and followed it with a text to my coach asking if I could go out for an easy spin in the afternoon if the weather held. I got the green light for 75 minutes! A fantastic “winter” ride… 30 km easy, and 13 degrees? More, please! Post-spin, I had just enough time to change and head out for my second run of the day (a little 5K shuffle) before another quick change and a one-hour Gentle Hatha class. The perfect way to cap a day of run-bike-run.
  

Here is a summary of the week:

Monday	SFA
Tuesday	2500m swim before work 11km run – speed work at the track after work
Wednesday	5 km early morning zone 1 run Strength work at home – mostly core, some squats & lunges PRM Spin Class
Thursday	13 km run after work
Friday	“Bench press for cyclists” x 18 - trainer workout after work
Saturday	3050m swim 10 km run
Sunday	22 km run in the morning 30 km ride mid-afternoon 5 km run post-ride Gentle Hatha Yoga Class

Note to self for next week: strength! More strength!